About Michael: Part 9

The hot springs at night is a very romantic place: hot water, steam rising in the air, and the starry sky above. We sat on a rock half out of the water in a back corner; there weren't many people around. We talked a bit, and he told me that he really liked me. He held my hand and tried to kiss me. Again I denied his kiss. I reminded him that I was married, and he replied that he hadn't forgotten. His third attempt, however, I allowed. It was a nice kiss, though we were both nervous. It was wonderful being in the presence of someone who found me desirable. I lied in his arms a while and we kissed some more. I told him that I shouldn't be doing this, and he countered that I really should. He said that if I told him no and really meant it, that he would go away. It wouldn't be easy, but he would go. I didn't want him to go.

Back at his hotel I combed out my hair as best I could with his small comb and he watched me struggle with it. It was late and I knew I had to leave. Michael walked me to the door and I gave him a hurried hug, knowing that if I allowed myself to linger I would get caught up in the moment and let more happen than I was prepared to, especially after the romantic evening at the hot springs.

The next afternoon I picked him up at his hotel and we went to a pool hall. This is perhaps my best memory of his weekend in town. While we played many games of pool, the flirting was open and more hands-on than it had ever been. Before we had gotten married, my husband and I would often play pool. Since he was a much better player than I, I would even the playing field by being as distracting as possible: standing too close, a straying hand, whispering in his ear. These things no longer distract my husband, but I was able to use them with Michael. It gave me a bit of a thrill to be able to do that again, to have that power over someone.

After one of my shots, while Michael was sitting on a stool at the small table, I straightened up and backed right in between his knees. He put his arms around me and I closed my eyes. I felt so happy.

About Michael: Part 8

I talked to Michael a lot about my husband, about my marriage, and about my unhappiness. In hindsight, I know that I talked too much about it, but it was nice to have the attention. And that is what this whole thing boiled down to: someone was finally paying attention to me. Someone was interested in me for my brains, my wit, and my body. And it felt really, really good.

He told me that he had plans to come to my town for a mini vacation the first weekend of March, and I was excited to see him again. We counted down the weeks, then the days, and then the hours until we would see each other. The flirting got very intense during that time, and we spent a lot of time making googly eyes at each other on cam. At one point we had a reality check conversation, wondering if we would still click the same way in person as we had online.

At that point, I wasn't sure what would happen when he arrived in town or what I would allow to happen between us. He asked if, at the very least, he could hold my hand, and I said of course. I was excited to see him.

My husband knew that Michael was coming to town and that I was planning on seeing him that weekend. I invited my husband along to some of the activities we had planned, but he declined saying that he didn't have the same kind of humor that Michael and I shared. He also told me that he had expected Michael and I to pretty much spend the entire weekend together.

Which we did. Only perhaps the first hour or so was a bit awkward, but after that we were our comfortable selves, bullshitting with and making each other laugh just as we had online. I had picked him up at the airport and drove him to his hotel to check in. We went out and grabbed lunch and he admitted to bringing a desert with him from the restaurant we had gone to where they mispronounced my name. We went back to his hotel to eat the dessert, and he turned a movie on.

I sat close to him on the bed as we finished our dessert, our shoulders touching and my legs tucked up and leaning toward him. Michael put our dishes aside, wrapped one arm around my legs, and I put my head on his shoulder. We held hands and I felt very comfortable and safe with him. After the movie we lied down and talked about taking a nap as he held me. He ran his hand down my side and I nearly fell asleep. He moved to kiss me, but I turned my head away. We had plans to go to the hot springs that evening, but I told him that I needed to say hi to my husband before we went.

About Michael: Part 7

Not much later Michael got his internet connection back at home and we chatted more than we had before. At some point he dug out his old web cam and hooked it back up. It was weird, at first, watching him as we chatted. But I quickly got used to it and missed seeing his expressions when it broke. I loved making him laugh, and seeing his face helped me realize I wasn't imagining that he was actually flirting with me.

One night he had had a bit to drink and told me all about his ex-wife and how she had cheated on him. He admitted to liking me, but said that he knew what it felt like for his wife to run off with another man from the internet, and he didn't want to interfere with my marriage. I, in turn, told him about the problems with our sex life. I wanted him to care, though I wasn't sure why.

I started making allusions to finding a web cam of my own. When I couldn't find an affordable one in town, he offered to look in his city for me. I finally accepted his offer and my own shiny web cam appeared in the mail not long after.

There were some nights that we chatted into the wee hours of the morning. Most weekends were that way, actually. We chatted about anything and everything. The more we chatted the more we grew to like each other. He was funny and smart and interesting. And maybe more importantly, he thought me to be the same. He would interrupt what else he had been doing to spend that time with me. He paid attention to me, attention I felt I wasn't getting from my husband. My husband knew that I was chatting this much with Michael, and he even knew that we both watched each other on web cam, but he didn't seem suspicious or the least bit worried.

About Michael: Part 6

A few months later I had another trip to his town planned to visit with two friends. We arranged to meet for dinner again, only this time I brought my two friends. Dinner was included with a show at this
particular locale, so there was less direct interaction between the four of us as we enjoyed the show.

I was quite nervous as we had flirted more online since our last meeting. I wanted desperately to touch Michael. I had ended up sitting in a very uncomfortable spot on the bench seat, and made it a point halfway through the show to scoot closer to him. With out thighs touching, I made a joke about sitting on his lap, when what I really wanted to do was just grab his hand. But I was fairly cool towards him all night because I did not want my two friends to know that I had a bit of a crush on him.

We gave him a ride home after the show, the two of us sitting in the back seat. I placed my hand on the seat a bit away from my body just hoping he would touch it. But he didn't. He later confessed that he had really wanted to hold my hand that night too, but I was giving off Just Friends Vibes. We laughed at our respective stupidity.

I did a free write the next day that started as a letter to Michael. In it, I told him that I thought I was falling for him and desperately wanted him to fall for me. At that point I knew that falling for him would lead to only one logical conclusion: my cheating on my husband. And that was unacceptable. I tore the paper into pieces and threw it away.